life is very complicated right now & i probably will not be posting as much fuckery as i used to.
sort of had a love at first sight thing with a guy lately & i could not quite figure out why. yes was cute but not the most handsome guy i had ever seen.then it hit me, the guy looks just like my ex Elvis. :-( now i dont even know if i want to go there. it's like he will shadow everything that we do together.i dont want elvis to determine how i feel about this new man.
i've been skipping a lot of parties recently. am i getting old?lol. i dont even feel like putting on inappropriate evening wear(so you KNOW something is wrong).i am changing & i dont think i like what i am changing into. i used to funnel all of this into my diary but now that is what i use this blog for. i feel like it is time to go old school, get back to pen & paper. i am not abandoning "glitter of hollywood" but it really serves no purpose & i am not one to waste time. this isnt a goodbye, more of a "smell you later".
your bff in christ,
the d
"Don’t stare at me, baby. You can see me in the movies" Rita Hayworth
Showing posts with label elvis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elvis. Show all posts
4/29/12
3/7/12
love vs lust
i just realized something important today.i finally figured out the difference between love & lust. so many times i thought i was in love(M, jr,aldous,etc) but now i see that it was only my vagina talking. i loved/love elvis.he is probably the only one i have ever loved.it's good to get that off my chest for some reason.
oh & btw,M i will be calling you in about 2 weeks & aldous please forget my number. i know you read my blog like it was the bible.its flattering but i cannot with you. :-)
i feel so mature now.calm. ready to move on from all of this nonsense.i opened a magazine & there was elvis staring back. it hurt for a second & then i laughed.
oh & btw,M i will be calling you in about 2 weeks & aldous please forget my number. i know you read my blog like it was the bible.its flattering but i cannot with you. :-)
i feel so mature now.calm. ready to move on from all of this nonsense.i opened a magazine & there was elvis staring back. it hurt for a second & then i laughed.
10/18/09
5/2/09
Elvis & his Queen
so i go on my fav blog site to find a gigantic pic of "Elvis" & my replacement(plus it's on the front page of ALL the gossip blogs today).feels like a punch in the stomach. a couple of months ago, it would've KILLED me.i am thankful i did not text him last night like i wanted to.
i am happy for him, though i know it will only last another month or so.i used to pray for the day when i was "good enough" for him.lol
. not jealous at all. i know it will not last.it never does. as much as he will ask you to have his children (yes, he did) to carry on his family name, the last of his breed (he is not), he will get bored. or his drummer will want you, or you will become independent,or you will say you love him, & that will be the end of that.
no one could really replace me(though he still keeps trying). wonder how many songs he wrote about her(compared to my number)? eh
broke down & read some of the comments, people saying she looks like a tranny or he looks 'roided out. i will not say what i know, i just wish that he is content.makes me kind of sad, as if i needed any help with that.i knew he was not alone, but i did not need to see pix of it(plus they were photographed where i had been maybe 2 hours before). i just thank Satan that i was nowhere near them. i probably would've vomited all over myself
it's been a very traumatic couple of months, so this is really nothing.pain every single day, just in a different form
5/4
Elvis told me that they are getting married. again, i have to say that it will not last.i want him to be happy but there is something missing,something MORE going on.a baby perhaps, little Lisa Marie....
it took me soooooooooooooo long to figure out why our relationship did not work & last night it hit me like a brick.i am not submissive,he could not tame me. he picked out my clothes, my food, where i went,who i went with, yet he could not control my mind & THAT was the problem. not that i wasn't "good enough" or "famous" enough. that i was me instead of what he wanted me to be
i hope that everyone reading this can learn from my mistake
i am happy for him, though i know it will only last another month or so.i used to pray for the day when i was "good enough" for him.lol
. not jealous at all. i know it will not last.it never does. as much as he will ask you to have his children (yes, he did) to carry on his family name, the last of his breed (he is not), he will get bored. or his drummer will want you, or you will become independent,or you will say you love him, & that will be the end of that.no one could really replace me(though he still keeps trying). wonder how many songs he wrote about her(compared to my number)? eh
broke down & read some of the comments, people saying she looks like a tranny or he looks 'roided out. i will not say what i know, i just wish that he is content.makes me kind of sad, as if i needed any help with that.i knew he was not alone, but i did not need to see pix of it(plus they were photographed where i had been maybe 2 hours before). i just thank Satan that i was nowhere near them. i probably would've vomited all over myself
it's been a very traumatic couple of months, so this is really nothing.pain every single day, just in a different form
5/4
Elvis told me that they are getting married. again, i have to say that it will not last.i want him to be happy but there is something missing,something MORE going on.a baby perhaps, little Lisa Marie....
it took me soooooooooooooo long to figure out why our relationship did not work & last night it hit me like a brick.i am not submissive,he could not tame me. he picked out my clothes, my food, where i went,who i went with, yet he could not control my mind & THAT was the problem. not that i wasn't "good enough" or "famous" enough. that i was me instead of what he wanted me to be
i hope that everyone reading this can learn from my mistake
11/15/08
"Dallas in real life" or "Letter to M part deux"
ahhh, you know how hard it is for me to stay away.i have no will power,i must tell you every boring detail of my day,week,month,year......
i will not even get into the married billionaire story(it can wait & yes, it IS quite exciting).
today was quite bizarre with me & Britney at the courthouse today. it was sooooooo weird, almost like a funeral & all the paps running & having no idea where they are running or what is even going on.of course, i did not see Miss Spears. somebody has a life....
i texted M with a little "i will be at {insert lame club name here} tomorrow. your presence is requested,though not required".i told myself that i would never ever speak to M again this Saturday.i texted him a little "cancer was more fun than you". a couple of days before, i had a mini breakdown & he definitely did not help the situation.i am at the end of my rope right now.with everything.every day gets harder & harder.he said that he wanted to be friends,& now that i actually need him as a friend,he is nowhere to be found. trust that i am not surprised or even disappointed in M. just disappointed in myself for being such a fool for him.
now mind you suicide is not happening any time soon(so treehuggers don't get too happy). it's been brought up,but i still have yet to see London or marry bonny Prince Harry.it's funny how hard i fell for M, though i cannot say that he broke my heart. "Elvis" made sure that i had nothing left to break.
i was looking through some old pix of exboyfriends & it finally occurred to me that they all looked alike,the hair,the clothes,the guyliner. now i know that it was NEVER about M, just me trying to make right all the wrongs of the past. me trying to get love from guys who all look alike (who all remind me of my dad). profound, right?Who knew Lee Harvey could have such an effect all these years later?
i only say all of this stuff here about M because i cannot say it to him.we speak in English but never understand each other,no common language. oh & btw, it WAS hard for me to kill our baby. it would've had your eyes & my mouth,you know. i named it Libertie(cause nothing else sounded cute with your last name). i could never raise a child if daddy was too busy f*cking random skanks on mommie's birthday.
oh yeah,before i forget.don't forget to vote(or vote twice if you are in florida).you can write my name in the ballot if you are undecided. i promise to lower taxes,the drinking age, & abolish all drug & prostitution laws.
thank you for your time,
Dallas "Evita!" Harrison
Dallas 2008
1/16 of course, i never went to {insert lame club name here}. all those years of insomnia have finally caught up with me. i met a guy who is cuter than M(which is saying a lot 'cause M is a total 10).the new guy is a 12, looks like M & Donny Osmond had a love child. tres hot n sexie.i will soon be getting my Nobel Peace Prize for my theory that all white people look alike.i've been workinig on it for many many years....
i went to Hollywood & ran into Donovan Leitch again. that man is a walking sex machine, i've had a crush on him since i saw "The In Crowd" in '89 as a child. i couldn't keep my hands off his hot little body(ahhhh, those abs). i'm sure Kirsty Hume would NOT approve. he said his own name & i totally had an orgasm.le sigh.
there is going to be a fab party tomorrow night(if you have an invite, i'll see you there).i cannot wait.i really have not gone out in a very loooong time, as you can tell.i bought a brand new pair of white pvc shoes & yes, i do have an addiction.
1/17 slightly disappointed in myself. i didn't go to any of the 5 parties that i was invited to tonight.it was soooooo cold, eh. i have some form of OCD. eh. went to a great audition today(thanks W). i am insane but it is working for me(for now). eh
don't read my blog. it only encourages me to write more piffle (& we ALL know i could be doing something better with my time).
i will not even get into the married billionaire story(it can wait & yes, it IS quite exciting).
today was quite bizarre with me & Britney at the courthouse today. it was sooooooo weird, almost like a funeral & all the paps running & having no idea where they are running or what is even going on.of course, i did not see Miss Spears. somebody has a life....
i texted M with a little "i will be at {insert lame club name here} tomorrow. your presence is requested,though not required".i told myself that i would never ever speak to M again this Saturday.i texted him a little "cancer was more fun than you". a couple of days before, i had a mini breakdown & he definitely did not help the situation.i am at the end of my rope right now.with everything.every day gets harder & harder.he said that he wanted to be friends,& now that i actually need him as a friend,he is nowhere to be found. trust that i am not surprised or even disappointed in M. just disappointed in myself for being such a fool for him.
now mind you suicide is not happening any time soon(so treehuggers don't get too happy). it's been brought up,but i still have yet to see London or marry bonny Prince Harry.it's funny how hard i fell for M, though i cannot say that he broke my heart. "Elvis" made sure that i had nothing left to break.
i was looking through some old pix of exboyfriends & it finally occurred to me that they all looked alike,the hair,the clothes,the guyliner. now i know that it was NEVER about M, just me trying to make right all the wrongs of the past. me trying to get love from guys who all look alike (who all remind me of my dad). profound, right?Who knew Lee Harvey could have such an effect all these years later?
i only say all of this stuff here about M because i cannot say it to him.we speak in English but never understand each other,no common language. oh & btw, it WAS hard for me to kill our baby. it would've had your eyes & my mouth,you know. i named it Libertie(cause nothing else sounded cute with your last name). i could never raise a child if daddy was too busy f*cking random skanks on mommie's birthday.
oh yeah,before i forget.don't forget to vote(or vote twice if you are in florida).you can write my name in the ballot if you are undecided. i promise to lower taxes,the drinking age, & abolish all drug & prostitution laws.
thank you for your time,
Dallas "Evita!" Harrison
Dallas 2008
1/16 of course, i never went to {insert lame club name here}. all those years of insomnia have finally caught up with me. i met a guy who is cuter than M(which is saying a lot 'cause M is a total 10).the new guy is a 12, looks like M & Donny Osmond had a love child. tres hot n sexie.i will soon be getting my Nobel Peace Prize for my theory that all white people look alike.i've been workinig on it for many many years....
i went to Hollywood & ran into Donovan Leitch again. that man is a walking sex machine, i've had a crush on him since i saw "The In Crowd" in '89 as a child. i couldn't keep my hands off his hot little body(ahhhh, those abs). i'm sure Kirsty Hume would NOT approve. he said his own name & i totally had an orgasm.le sigh.
there is going to be a fab party tomorrow night(if you have an invite, i'll see you there).i cannot wait.i really have not gone out in a very loooong time, as you can tell.i bought a brand new pair of white pvc shoes & yes, i do have an addiction.
1/17 slightly disappointed in myself. i didn't go to any of the 5 parties that i was invited to tonight.it was soooooo cold, eh. i have some form of OCD. eh. went to a great audition today(thanks W). i am insane but it is working for me(for now). eh
don't read my blog. it only encourages me to write more piffle (& we ALL know i could be doing something better with my time).
8/9/08
Mexican Muffin Tops
just found a website called
wait for it
Mexican Muffin Tops.*
it's actually something that i was planning on doing
(ie a website featuring fat women in inappropriate clothes). i just noticed today that all my subjects were in fact Latina(is muffintops a new trend?). my pix are a million times better, though so i am not jealous
by 6:30 pm today i have been to 2 disappointing parties
i text M
M: i am having great sex
Dallas: thanks for sharing.who with?
M: shania twain
D: u don't know who shania twain is
M: a singer i guess
D: u r an idiot
M: ha yes
now mind you,THIS is supposed to be the father of my future children
eh
i wish i could just get him out of my mind/life.M is like eating candy all day long.
i text Elvis but he is on tour.i asked him months ago for backstage passes for his LA show in Sept(as a birthday present to me).he didn't seem thrilled so i doubt if it'll happen.i am not the type to keep bringing it up.
i HATE concerts,but i LOVE being backstage
i actually have a good lollapalooza/Perry Farrell story that i was going to share.now,not so much
i am in the middle of trying to publish my book.i will let my agent have 1 more year to get it published.then if it's still not done i will just do it myself.i have a LOT of friends who could help but like i said before,i only ask once.
*no i am NOT racist so save the drama for your mama....
wait for it
Mexican Muffin Tops.*
it's actually something that i was planning on doing
(ie a website featuring fat women in inappropriate clothes). i just noticed today that all my subjects were in fact Latina(is muffintops a new trend?). my pix are a million times better, though so i am not jealous
by 6:30 pm today i have been to 2 disappointing parties
i text M
M: i am having great sex
Dallas: thanks for sharing.who with?
M: shania twain
D: u don't know who shania twain is
M: a singer i guess
D: u r an idiot
M: ha yes
now mind you,THIS is supposed to be the father of my future children
eh
i wish i could just get him out of my mind/life.M is like eating candy all day long.
i text Elvis but he is on tour.i asked him months ago for backstage passes for his LA show in Sept(as a birthday present to me).he didn't seem thrilled so i doubt if it'll happen.i am not the type to keep bringing it up.
i HATE concerts,but i LOVE being backstage
i actually have a good lollapalooza/Perry Farrell story that i was going to share.now,not so much
i am in the middle of trying to publish my book.i will let my agent have 1 more year to get it published.then if it's still not done i will just do it myself.i have a LOT of friends who could help but like i said before,i only ask once.
*no i am NOT racist so save the drama for your mama....
6/24/08
There will be blood
so i JUST saw "Jurassic Park" last night. hated it! though Sam Neil is & will always be a stone cold fox(still have no idea if the dinosaurs are robots or clones)
saw "McCabe & Mrs Miller" slightly disappointing. i LOVE Warren Beatty back when he looked like Angelina Jolie-Pitt & the fur coats were beyond fierce. the fur hats were KILLING me(note to self: buy a fur hat asap to stunt on dese hoez). the ending was a little too 1970s for me,though i did enjoy the realism. it's always good when a movie about pre running water days shows how actually dirty people back in the day were. y'know the reason why everybody wore face paint in the 1700s was to cover up the dirt!!! instead of just taking a bath!
"There Will Be Blood" may be the best movie that i've seen in my entire life. of course my future husband Daniel Day Lewis can do no wrong.they should just give him an automatic Oscar everytime he does a movie. he is the best living actor.period. plus i would do things to him that haven't even been invented ( Ralph Fiennes gets a free pass as well).
my only problem was that there wasn't more nude DDL(thank you for that swimming scene) or not enough lil HW.that child has the most amazing face!
i was going to go on & on about child abuse, Corey Feldman (how sad it is to hear of his ordeal & how i miss our friendship), "Elvis"(& how he looks/acts JUST like Daniel Plainview),but instead i'll end with my afternoon
i go to Taco Bell & run into Fred Durst(of couse). while leaving a black guy ends up calling me the N word.a black guy. the same color as me.
of course that had no effect on me (a girl who dated & hung out with members of the KKK). then he decided to say something like "That's why i never talk to negresses".
i've noticed the best way to deal with time wasting losers is to ignore them. the only reason he said any of it was to get a rise out of me, to get my attention.by me not caring, it took away his power.plus what can you really say to someone that ignorant?
saw "McCabe & Mrs Miller" slightly disappointing. i LOVE Warren Beatty back when he looked like Angelina Jolie-Pitt & the fur coats were beyond fierce. the fur hats were KILLING me(note to self: buy a fur hat asap to stunt on dese hoez). the ending was a little too 1970s for me,though i did enjoy the realism. it's always good when a movie about pre running water days shows how actually dirty people back in the day were. y'know the reason why everybody wore face paint in the 1700s was to cover up the dirt!!! instead of just taking a bath!
"There Will Be Blood" may be the best movie that i've seen in my entire life. of course my future husband Daniel Day Lewis can do no wrong.they should just give him an automatic Oscar everytime he does a movie. he is the best living actor.period. plus i would do things to him that haven't even been invented ( Ralph Fiennes gets a free pass as well).
my only problem was that there wasn't more nude DDL(thank you for that swimming scene) or not enough lil HW.that child has the most amazing face!
i was going to go on & on about child abuse, Corey Feldman (how sad it is to hear of his ordeal & how i miss our friendship), "Elvis"(& how he looks/acts JUST like Daniel Plainview),but instead i'll end with my afternoon
i go to Taco Bell & run into Fred Durst(of couse). while leaving a black guy ends up calling me the N word.a black guy. the same color as me.
of course that had no effect on me (a girl who dated & hung out with members of the KKK). then he decided to say something like "That's why i never talk to negresses".
i've noticed the best way to deal with time wasting losers is to ignore them. the only reason he said any of it was to get a rise out of me, to get my attention.by me not caring, it took away his power.plus what can you really say to someone that ignorant?
5/13/08
The Concert Tonight
i woke up at 4pm today. got a message from M, an invite to his concert tonight. it's a bit suspicious, especially since i JUST wrote a blog about stuff like this. i've known him for almost a decade & this is the first concert invite.i would like to see him perform but i'm 97% sure that i will not go
it would be amazing if i showed up in a fabulous outfit, the most beautiful girl in the room & stealing all the spotlight (as i am fond of doing) but it's not even worth it.
everything he does these days is like a slap to the face.i like drama but it really should not be this hard to be friends with someone. everything should not be a debate.
yes, it was hard for me to kill our baby. yes, if he asked me tomorrow to marry him, i would. i am a sucker for guyliner, tight pants, & a pair of dead grey eyes. i have enough to worry about with "Elvis", VH1, & not cracking up.
i had a dream a while ago about being at M's concert. he placed me on top of the speaker on the side of the stage (just like Pamela DesBarres & Jimmie Page).he played his guitar, looking at me every once in a while, dedicating silly romantic ballads to me.it was nice, but just a dream that will never ever happen. in order to do such a thing HE would have to have a heart (lmfao). i have more of a chance doing that with "Elvis" (who swore that we would only meet again in Hell).
M said that i was prettier than the 2 girls he married. funny how i get at least 20 compliments when i leave the house. i try not to leave the house anymore. what is the point? watching "Family Guy" while typing this & Stewie is singing "Suicide is Painless". how incredibly appropriate at this time.
back to the original point. i will not be seeing M tonight as much as i would like to. he is hollow inside like i am finally. it's come to a point where it isn't even depression. question: what is past depression? answer: me
it would be amazing if i showed up in a fabulous outfit, the most beautiful girl in the room & stealing all the spotlight (as i am fond of doing) but it's not even worth it.
everything he does these days is like a slap to the face.i like drama but it really should not be this hard to be friends with someone. everything should not be a debate.
yes, it was hard for me to kill our baby. yes, if he asked me tomorrow to marry him, i would. i am a sucker for guyliner, tight pants, & a pair of dead grey eyes. i have enough to worry about with "Elvis", VH1, & not cracking up.
i had a dream a while ago about being at M's concert. he placed me on top of the speaker on the side of the stage (just like Pamela DesBarres & Jimmie Page).he played his guitar, looking at me every once in a while, dedicating silly romantic ballads to me.it was nice, but just a dream that will never ever happen. in order to do such a thing HE would have to have a heart (lmfao). i have more of a chance doing that with "Elvis" (who swore that we would only meet again in Hell).
M said that i was prettier than the 2 girls he married. funny how i get at least 20 compliments when i leave the house. i try not to leave the house anymore. what is the point? watching "Family Guy" while typing this & Stewie is singing "Suicide is Painless". how incredibly appropriate at this time.
back to the original point. i will not be seeing M tonight as much as i would like to. he is hollow inside like i am finally. it's come to a point where it isn't even depression. question: what is past depression? answer: me
11/15/07
My So Called Life
ahhhhh, i am so very tired
last week(month,year) was the lamest week ever. i won't go into details, but it did involve getting ran over by a car plus getting cursed out by a guy from "Jackass" (after he bought me a drink & some drugs).
but i am digressing from the real reason why i write this
it is an open valentine to the one love of my life, the only real man i've ever met. i will call him Elvis, because you should already know his name. he is a famous rock star (si) & i grew up enamored of his music.
we met, he flew me out to meet his family, blahblahblah. everyone called me Mrs Presley because we were all convinced that i would be his bride. our "child" turned out to be cancer. i told him, he dumped me, then i tried to kill myself. & that was the beginning of my troubles.....
around that time he took a female rapper on tour with him. she was dark & exotic & i'm sure everyone was confused as to why they would be touring together. but i knew why, i knew that she would be my replacement.
we had a talk yesterday & i asked him about it. he said no, they were never together. i don't believe it, but it is ok. years ago, he also said to me that WE were never together. as though those years never happened. the gifts, the trips, the way his grandfather told strangers about how much he liked me. how his dad raved about my spirit & exotic looks. how his niece & nephew followed me around like puppies, knowing that i always had time to play. i am ok with it all. it is an equisite pain but i am small but strong
my idol Pamela DesBarres once said that i would be the perfect rock n roll courtesan & it is true. i see all. i talk for hours & say nothing.it took me years to ask him about his mistress & i took his lie as truth. it doesn't matter now one way or the other. i measure all men to him, he is as close to perfection as i have ever seen.
i remember everything he has ever said to me. his last 2 cds were about me, but i will never be able to hear them. i can't. i really don't want to know.
he is the reason why i took the name Havisham. it's funny because i told him a million times that i would never be his Annie, but i am so her. she was his ex, they broke up before i was ever even born.she was engaged to a guy from Metallica, then Elvis told her to dump him. & she did. she goes to his concerts all around the U.S., he sends her tickets. he is her life & i'm pretty sure she has not seen him (in real life, together) in decades. he texts her, she follows, but they never really meet. it's bizarre & i feel as though that's what he wants from me
i know how crazy this all sounds (it's crazy to me). but this is my life. mansion parties thrown by strangers, drugs, "fame"(lol), & a ghost for a boyfriend.....eh
we went to buy his grandfather a car & took his nephew. Elvis asked me "What do you want here?I'll buy you whatever you want!" i pointed at his half black,half white nephew that everyone assumed was our child. that's all i ever wanted from him
"I'd rather be blue, thinking of you. I'd rather be blue over you, than be happy with someone else"
Later:
So i've been having TERRIBLE insomnia, even the pills don't work anymore. i've read every book written & now all of my shoes are covered in rainbow glitter. my closet is a drag queens wet dream. yes, you are seeing pink glitter + green & red xmas shuz. yes, you don't have to be jealous. i've put up more stuff at www.freewebs.com/gossiprag . if you care...
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