Mexican Muffin Tops

just found a website called

wait for it

Mexican Muffin Tops.*

it's actually something that i was planning on doing
(ie a website featuring fat women in inappropriate clothes). i just noticed today that all my subjects were in fact Latina(is muffintops a new trend?). my pix are a million times better, though so i am not jealous

by 6:30 pm today i have been to 2 disappointing parties

i text M

M: i am having great sex
Dallas: thanks for sharing.who with?
M: shania twain
D: u don't know who shania twain is
M: a singer i guess
D: u r an idiot
M: ha yes

now mind you,THIS is supposed to be the father of my future children

eh
i wish i could just get him out of my mind/life.M is like eating candy all day long.

i text Elvis but he is on tour.i asked him months ago for backstage passes for his LA show in Sept(as a birthday present to me).he didn't seem thrilled so i doubt if it'll happen.i am not the type to keep bringing it up.

i HATE concerts,but i LOVE being backstage

i actually have a good lollapalooza/Perry Farrell story that i was going to share.now,not so much

i am in the middle of trying to publish my book.i will let my agent have 1 more year to get it published.then if it's still not done i will just do it myself.i have a LOT of friends who could help but like i said before,i only ask once.


*no i am NOT racist so save the drama for your mama....