Not a Fan

i was out last night when a strange woman started to follow me

strange woman: "Are you that girl who got kicked off that show?"

Dallas:"No"

s.w.:"Yeah, you ARE that girl!!!"

Dallas:"So if you already know, then why are you asking me?"

s.w.:"I have a right to know!!!"

here's the deal. nobody has a RIGHT to know anything about a complete stranger.just because you see someone on tv, does NOT make them your best friend, you do not know them.the only thing this woman knew about me was what VH1 decided to show her. if she were attractive, i would probably be telling a different story, but i really don't have time for fugs trying to waste my time(lmfao).

i write this blog for theraputic purposes, like the diary that i've kept for decades.it's not for your entertainment or to get kudos from fans.i can't eat love & i certainly can't pay my bills with love. my self esteem is not based on what other people think.

it just really bothered me that she said she "Had a right", like i somehow belonged to her & was not just a person trying to live my life. that's one of the worst aspects of our modern world. nobody has their own life, they just live through others. why should i fall in love, when i can watch Katie Holmes do it? why should i have a baby, when i can watch Nicole Ritchie have hers? why should i lose weight when i can watch "The Biggest Loser" instead? why travel when i can watch "Amazing Race" instead?

i was talking to a reality show producer last night & he was all "Well aren't you happy you were on tv?" & i was like "Are you f*cking kidding me?".next month i will be homeless. like Carrie Bradshaw once said "I will be a bag lady. A Fendi bag lady,but a bag lady no less". i find no pleasure from people bugging me on the street (if you look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie,then please disregard the last statement). i did the show to get a better agent, then get better roles in the future. none of this has happened.

mind you, i do not have my hand out.i've noticed that people only like to give money to those who do NOT need it.